Most of us know we may eventually have to face losing a dog, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier when the time comes.
I know this from personal experience.
I lost Missy in August 2023, and then Roxy in March 2025.
Both are still very much missed.
When a dog has been part of your everyday life for years, their absence is felt in so many little ways. It isn’t only that they are no longer there. Your routine changes. The house feels different. The walks stop. The food bowl isn’t needed. You can catch yourself automatically doing something you have done hundreds of times before and then remember.
For me, there is something else I have come to believe too:
Rescue dogs find you.
You might think you are the one choosing to give a dog a home, but sometimes it feels as though they arrive in your life exactly when they are supposed to.
And no matter how long we are lucky enough to have them, saying goodbye hurts.
Why losing a dog can be so difficult
A dog becomes woven into everyday life.
They may be there when you wake up, follow you into the kitchen, wait for their walk, settle beside you in the evening and somehow know when something isn’t quite right.
For some people, their dog has also been beside them through major changes in their life – moving home, relationships, children growing up, illness, retirement, bereavement or difficult periods when their dog was simply there.
That is why I don’t think we should ever dismiss pet bereavement as “only losing a dog”.
The relationship was real, so the grief is real too.
There isn’t a correct amount of time to grieve either. You might feel devastated immediately, or you might feel numb at first. There can be sadness, guilt, anger and sometimes even relief, particularly if your dog had been unwell or in pain.
You may experience several of those feelings at the same time.
The PDSA’s guidance on coping with pet loss explains that grief is individual and doesn’t follow a fixed sequence.
The strange little things you miss
Sometimes it isn’t the big moments that catch you out.
It’s the everyday things.
The sound of paws around the house.
Automatically looking towards their favourite sleeping spot.
Reaching for a lead that you no longer need.
Planning your day around a walk and suddenly realising you don’t have to.
Finding a toy tucked somewhere.
Seeing another dog that reminds you of yours.
Those routines might have seemed completely ordinary when your dog was alive, but afterwards you realise how much of your day was shared with them.
Having spent so many years working with dogs, I know how important routine can be to them. But I think we sometimes forget how much their routine becomes ours as well.
When you’ve had to make the decision to say goodbye
One of the hardest situations an owner can face is deciding when it is time to let a dog go.
It can leave you questioning yourself afterwards.
Was it too soon?
Did I wait too long?
Could I have done something differently?
Those thoughts can be incredibly difficult.
When a dog’s health or quality of life is deteriorating, always discuss the decision with your vet. They are the right person to help you understand your dog’s medical situation, pain and quality of life.
The PDSA’s advice on when it’s time to say goodbye also explains what owners can expect and some of the emotions surrounding euthanasia.
I don’t think loving a dog means holding on for as long as physically possible.
Sometimes love also means being prepared to make an incredibly painful decision because we don’t want them to suffer.
Don’t let anyone tell you how quickly you should “get over it”
There is no timetable.
Some people want to talk about their dog constantly. Others don’t.
Some put photographs everywhere. Others may find looking at photographs too painful at first.
You might pack their belongings away immediately or leave their bed exactly where it was for weeks.
None of those reactions determines how much you loved your dog.
Grief is personal.
The PDSA also advises that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and that it can take time to adjust.
Give yourself that time.
Helping children when a family dog dies
For children, losing a family dog can be particularly difficult.
The dog may have been there for as long as they can remember. In some families, the children and dog have effectively grown up together.
It may also be a child’s first experience of death.
Age-appropriate honesty can help children understand what has happened, and it is important to give them opportunities to ask questions and talk about how they feel.
Creating something in memory of the dog can sometimes help too. That might be choosing favourite photographs, making a memory book, planting something in the garden or simply talking together about funny things the dog used to do.
The PDSA pet bereavement guidance includes further advice about helping children cope with the loss of a pet.
What about other dogs in the home?
If you have another dog, you may notice changes after their companion dies.
They might seem unsettled, search around the house, want more attention or behave differently.
Behavioural changes can have several causes, so don’t assume everything is grief.
Try to maintain familiar feeding, walking, resting and sleeping routines where possible. Reassure your dog if they seek it, while giving them space if that is what they prefer.
If there is a sudden or concerning change in behaviour, appetite or health, speak to your vet.
My Dog Behaviour and Body Language Guide also explains why it is important to look at the whole dog and the context rather than interpreting one behaviour in isolation.
Remembering your dog
There isn’t a right way to remember a dog either.
You might keep their collar or tag.
You might frame a favourite photograph.
Plant something in the garden.
Keep their ashes somewhere special.
Create a memory box.
Walk one of their favourite routes.
Or simply keep telling the stories that make you smile.
You don’t have to put everything away because someone thinks you should, and you don’t have to keep everything because you feel guilty about letting something go.
Do what feels right for you.
As time passes, I think the memories gradually become less about the final days and more about the life that came before them.
I miss Missy and Roxy both, but I wouldn’t trade the years I had with them just to avoid the pain of losing them.
They were part of my life.
That matters.
Should you get another dog?
This is another question where I don’t think there is one correct answer.
Some people cannot imagine having another dog for a long time.
Others find that the house feels unbearably empty and are ready sooner.
Neither means you loved the dog you lost more or less.
And a new dog isn’t a replacement.
They will have their own personality, habits and needs. If you choose another rescue dog, they will bring their own history too.
Perhaps this is where my belief that rescue dogs find you comes from.
Sometimes you aren’t looking to replace what you’ve lost.
Another dog simply finds their way into your life, and a completely new relationship begins.
If you do welcome a rescue dog into your family, my Dog Behaviour and Body Language Guide can help you understand some of the quieter ways a dog may communicate while they are settling in.
When you need someone who understands
Sometimes friends and family are exactly the support you need.
But not everybody understands how deeply the loss of a dog can affect someone.
If you would rather speak to somebody who understands pet bereavement, the Blue Cross Pet Loss Support service offers free and confidential support by telephone, webchat and email.
The PDSA pet bereavement guidance also contains practical advice about grief and further sources of support.
If your grief is becoming overwhelming or making everyday life difficult, please don’t feel that you have to struggle with it alone. Speak to your GP or seek appropriate bereavement support.
A final thought
Working with dogs since 2011 has meant meeting many wonderful dogs and the people who love them.
Unfortunately, it also means there are dogs I have known and cared about who are no longer here.
There is no clever way of making that part easy.
Dogs simply don’t stay with us for long enough.
But I do think we can eventually reach a point where remembering them brings more smiles than tears.
Missy left me in August 2023.
Roxy followed in March 2025.
I still miss them both.
But I’m grateful they found me.
And if you’re reading this because you’ve recently lost your own dog, I hope that, in time, the memories of the life you shared become stronger than the memory of having to say goodbye.
